Okay, I need some serious help! I am at a loss of what to do with Ezra. He does not listen! He straight up will not listen!!!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHH! I might want to go crawl in a hole right now. So anyways, I know he is 3 and that is a big part of it but I feel like I have no control over him. He is so incredibly strong willed. I feel like I have tried everything. First we did time outs and that's pretty much a joke. He thinks its funny. Only every once in awhile does that work. Then we thought maybe a good pat on the behind will work and that makes things worse. I think he gets really mad when we spank him so he will do whatever he was doing just because you spanked him and then he'll yell at you. Oh my goodness right. We have taken every single toy in his room away. We will restrain him so he can't move and that worked for awhile but not so much anymore. We will tell him a punishment for what he is doing and he will seriously think about it and if he really wants to do it then he will and take the punishment. What kinda 3 year old does that! He is too smart for his own good. Does anyone know how to handle a extremely stubborn, strong willed little 3 year old.? Don't get me wrong I love the kid so much it's crazy and I don't want to sound like he is outta control. He just has a problem listening and mostly to me. Am I doing something wrong? Is this just a phase? Am I over thinking this? Are most 3 year olds like this and if so I am done having kids :) Do I need to call Nanny 911? Haha just kidding! It's definitely not that bad. Maybe I need to vent because tonight was a long night. I am up for any suggestions.
October 8, 2008
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4 comments:
I think Ezra and Caden are almost the exact same age. Caden is going through the same thing and I am going crazy. Everyone keeps telling me to pick one form of discipline and stick with it so they know what is coming each time, but it is so hard. Hang in there and let me know if you figure out something that works.
Consistency is definitely key. That word sounds easy, but it's not. Being more "strong willed" than a three yr old is a task, no doubt.
However, here's one more idea:
I prayed really hard over Kela and her outbursts. (And, let me just say, she has MASSIVE tantrums.) It came to me one day in a scripture...the one that says "no unclean thing can enter the kingdom of heaven." It was an answer so clear for my situation. Here's how it works: If Heavenly Father has stipulations on the type of behavior he allows to be around him, then I also should be strict on the behavior I allow to be in my presence too. Every time Kela starts acting out, I tell her that she is not allowed to be with me. I physically pick her up, put her in her room, and shut the door. I explain to her that she can not come out until she decides to act right (no yelling, no throwing stuff, no hitting). At first, this method seemed to not work. She would scream so long in her room. I mean LONG. But, again, with consistenty, she learned what I expected. Now, when I put her in her room, it doesn't require much for her to calm down because she knows she will not come out until she's quiet. She turns her behavior around fairly quickly.
I had tried all the other methods too. This is the only thing that has worked for Kela (She has a 2-3 yr old mentality). And, in the whole process, I have been able to keep my sanity.
I think it's successful bc kids naturally want to be with their parents, especially mom. If you don't allow them to be with you, not even see you, then they will alter themselves to have that priviledge. Remember, No unclean thing can enter your presence. Remove the things that are negative. Be clear. Be consistent.
Good luck!
Good advice from Wolfepack! As I was reading your post I felt so relieved. This was totally me about a month ago. Brayden was not listening and hitting everywhere we went: home, school, the park,stores, EVERYWHERE! It didn't seem to matter how many times we put him in timeout he just didn't seem bothered. I tried taking stuff away AND doing timeout and he still didn't seem phased. FINALLY, I lost it one day and made my little reward trains. You commented on them on my blog. I found that when I was looking hard enough for the good moments with Brayden that I could actually find them. To move forward on his train, I HAD to notice something nice about him instead of all of the bad things. I think that it helped us both start looking for them. It didn't take Brayden long to start behaving better. The hitting however was a little harder to get rid of. He doesn't like that many things consistently, but he does ALWAYS like candy. I bought him a bag of his VERY OWN candy and if he could be good between meals he got a piece of candy after lunch and dinner and another piece before bed. Now we only give him one piece of candy a day if he doesn't hit ALL DAY! He really has gotten better. The key for us was consistency and positive reinforcement! GOOD LUCK!!!
I don't have all the answers and have never had a 3 year old myself, but in my experience working with kids I've learned a couple things:
--preparation is easier than repair (be aware of times he may have a fit and see how you can prevent them)
--positive reinforcement goes a long way! I think its easy to forget to point out all the positive things our kids do during the day.
Every kid is different, but hope this helps!
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